Rant 001

After what had just happened between them, one would expect that she will wise up the least bit. But a few days later, you see her at his beck and call again like some fly following a dead corpse to the grave.
When asked, she replies “He really loves me, he just had a bad day at work that day. He isn’t usually like that.”
How about the other days? Were they also bad days at work? Or, did he suddenly develop new characteristics?

Sometimes, when you see women in abusive relationships defending their beasts, you wonder if something is wrong with their brains.
I mean this guy hits you for a living, you possibly even pay him for that with the excuse of ” I’m only supporting him for a while because things are a little rough for him or, he is going through a phase now, everything would soon fall into place for him.” Yet, this guy uses you as his punching bag.

At times, you want to scream senses into her like “Babe can’t you see that this guy would kill you untimely?, Can’t you see that you deserve better?”, But, when you try to advise them some will tell you how they think he will change while others will avoid you; seeing you as the bad person who wants to put asunder what God has joined together.

But, the truth is, sometimes, it is never as easy as it sounds to pack up and leave for these women and that’s because their esteem has been trampled upon. Most of them have come to believe that the abuse they suffer is their fault or, that it is the proof of affection from their partners. I met someone one time who said, “if my partner doesn’t hit me, then I won’t believe he loves me.” Imagine such! I didn’t even know what to say to her. What a ridiculous way to reason.

The best way to help them sometimes isn’t to advise them to pack up and leave, even though that is the very logical and sensible thing to do. But they no longer reason logically as you do. They may have probably found a comfortable way of living through it.
Help them by helping build that esteem back up! help them by making them see themselves as valuable too.

I really do not blame these women sometimes, they haven’t been wired to fight back. An African woman is wired to see herself as the savior of her marital relationship.
If a man leaves his wife, it is because the woman could not keep her home. Imagine being ingrained with such a faulty mentality! Yet, they pass this mentality unto their daughters which is why there’s no break in the cycle of this mental. Many women would rather put up with this abuse and be called courageous than seek help.

To add salt to injury, it is women that condemn their fellow women the most. Whatever happened to girls sticking together?

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