Today, I lost a job because of a tiny mistake of using “ON” after “PONDER”. I didn’t know what to do when my supposed employer typed “Sorry, but we wouldn’t be needing your services”.
Tick. Tock. Pause… Everything went dead for a nano second. I just lost a job and I definitely need all the money and experience I could gather. Within that period, I went about beating myself up. “Common Jenny, why weren’t you more careful? Why didn’t you it this way?”
Grrrrggggg, a beep and another message enters. “You’re not very good and your English is extremely poor. Maybe you could try applying for another job like leads generation.”
This sounded to me like: “hey! Your writing is terrible, go get something else doing.” Then, just then, I stopped beating myself up.
I may have made a mistake, but I’m definitely not terrible at what I do. I might meet someone like this again, but it doesn’t mean I’m a terrible writer. No! I wouldn’t take that from anyone, not even myself.
Don’t let anyone put you down with their words. You did something they probably didn’t like? Well then, equip yourself to be better. Keep pushing it.
You possibly could get highs and lows, but that doesn’t make you terrible at what you do. Sometimes, you might have more lows than highs, but it doesn’t make you terrible at what you do. Always see the positivity in a challenge.
The heart wants what it wants
And so it goes ahead to get it
Whoever told you that you could do that!
Wanting what you want?
You probably weren’t raised by an African Mother
You actually should want that which you get
If this was implemented from the very beginning, a lot would have been averted
Now you got what you wanted
Why be moody?
Don’t you know that you have to own up to the consequences, be it good or bad?
The heart wants what it wants
And so it went ahead to get it
It only forgot to bring along some replacements for when it no longer wants what it wants
After what had just happened between them, one would expect that she will wise up the least bit. But few days later, you see her at his beck and call again like some fly following a dead corpse to the grave.
When asked, she replies “He really loves me, he just had a bad day at work that day. He isn’t usually like that.”
How about the other days? Were they also bad days at work? Or, did he suddenly develop new characteristics?
Sometimes, when you see women in abusive relationships defending their beasts, you wonder if something is wrong with their brains.
I mean this guy hits you for a living, you possibly even pay him for that with the excuse of ” I’m only supporting him for a while because things are a little rough for him or he is going through a phase now, everything would soon fall into place for him.” Yet, this guy uses you as his punching bag.
At times, you want to scream senses into her like “Babe can’t you see that this guy would kill you untimely? Can’t you see that you deserve better?” But, when you try to advice them some will tell you how they think he will change while others will avoid you; seeing you as the bad person who wants to put asunder what God has joined together.
But the truth is, sometimes, it is never as easy as it sounds to pack up and leave for these women and that’s because their esteem has been trampled upon. Most of them have come to believe that the abuse they suffer is their fault or, that it is the proof of affection from their partners. I met someone one time who said, “if my partner doesn’t hit me, then I won’t believe that he loves me.” Imagine such! I didn’t even know what to say to her. What a funny way to reason.
The best way to help them sometimes, isn’t to advice them to pack up and leave, even though that is the very logical and sensible thing to do. But they no longer reason logically like you do. They may have probably found a comfortable way of living through it.
Help them by helping build that esteem back up!, help them by making them see themselves as valuable too.
I really do not blame these women sometimes, they haven’t been wired to fight back. An African woman is wired to see herself as the saviour of her marital relationship.
If a man leaves his wife, it is because the woman could not keep her home. Imagine being ingrained with such faulty mentality!Yet,they pass this mentality unto their daughters which is why there’s no break in the cycle of this mental. Many women would rather put up with these abuse and be called courageous, than seek help.
To add salt to injury, it is women that condemn their fellow women the most. Whatever happened to girls sticking together?
She’s reevaluating, Wondering what else to change to make it work. She’s nice and gentle She added more to it She doesn’t like something, she speaks up Now, she just keeps mute. Yet, it doesn’t seem to help matters She’s always to blame . It’s either she is hearing what’s not said Or she’s blowing an issue out of proportion. All she wants really is to be treated like she exists That has been the fight all along.
Notice me! Notice me! Notice me!
Her heart cries out louder this time
It isn’t denying that there are good times
But the other times seems more sometimes
What else can she change to make it work??????